*sighs*

Tomorrow will the chinese new year eve already but why am i sighing?

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I don't like the feeling for today. Actually i can say i practically didn't talk to him today. Or should i say i didn't have the chance to? Hmm... *ponders*
He has to attend a meeting together with his dad so i can't contact him cos i will be disturbing him during the meeting. Then after the meeting, he got home and he starts to play his game so he can't really switch windows to msn during his game. And then in between his game, he had a small disagreement with his mum and so he is not in the mood to talk to anyone including me. I really don't like this. Cos i feel i'm being... abandon and left alone. *frowns*

Boss gave us all permission to knock off early as there are no customers, very very quiet in fact. So i went back at 6.15pm. Tried calling him to see if by chatting on the phone and sharing his problem would help him feel better but then was rejected. "Do u wanna tok?" .... he said, "No lah. Don't need lah." ... "So do u wan me to hang up the phone now?" ... he said, "YA!" .. so i hang up.
Somehow, i feel really sad and a lil' hurt. i feel tat i shouldn't be treated like tat. But ya, i understand that some people they wish to be alone when they are in a really foul mood. So.... I'll just have to find my own programme to keep myself occupied for the night.
Then while i was typing this entry, he msn-ed me finally. But at the end of the really short conversation, he said tat i'm being too sensitive with my own words. Ok lor. Nvm.

CONTINUED....

tomorrow guess i will be going over to Jurong Point in the early afternoon. Will be bring Angel along and perhaps meet 2 of my colleagues at Outram Station and bring them along cos they are foreigners. Sometimes really pity them cos they have no relatives in Singapore and therefore they have nowhere to go during Chinese New Year, they won't even have any reunion dinner. When i'm there, I might be able to see my cute little Justin. Speaking of that little rascal, i had my first phone conversation with him yesterday while i was on my way home in the train.

"Hello MUMMY!" he said.
"Hi my little boy!" i replied.
"Oooh~ Mummy in the mrt train! mummy going where?"
"Mummy's taking the train home.. you wanna come?"
"Yeah! Justin wan to come."
"Ok, Monday u ask daddy to bring u come ok? Come and take ang bao from mummy and Ah Ma k?"
He then ran off and shouted to melvin, "I wan go MRT train look for mummy!"

Hahaha!! so cute. *sighs*... I really miss him.

face it ! that's life.

currently feeling kinda down.. guess i am always the one who is not good with expressing myself with words.. I will always tend to use the wrong words and offend people accidently. Right?

for the above mentioned, i need to first make it clear that it is referring to the one tat is close and dear to me and not referring to the one tat is working with me. if u're reading this u should jolly well noe who u are. and i seriously don't give a fuck shit about u anymore. Cos all the anger, sorrows, disappointments or watever is u brought it upon urself. i'm starting to understand why when i am close to u, people will come telling me tat u're such a lowlife petty person. tsk tsk tsk!

i do not noe is it just me or does it also apply to any other pple out there.. cos i always feel tat when u're in love, u will be blinded by a lot of things.. u will tend to act childishly and always having stupid thoughts.. and most of them is rather unnecessary. perhaps when u love someone too much, u tend to be over protective and then ur imaginations will run wild.. and when u didn't get enough supply of attention that he/she will give u on every normal day, u will feel extremely uncomfortable and start to tink if he/she is not loving u anymore and some shits like tat. U get wat i mean?

i always have this thing coming to me so naturally.. things like.. "why is it only when the relationship just started then they will treat u so extremely nice like u're a queen?" or "why after u're together, they dun give u the same kind of attention that they used to?" or "why they choose something else over me?" and shit stuffs like tat. Somehow all these unpleasant things just fall in place so nicely after a new relationship starts.. or was it just my luck that all these are just pure coincidence? HAHAHAHA!

i wonder when i will go crazy. oh boy, i must be insane now already.

i noe there must be some people out there who doesn't like me.. but to tell u frankly, i hate myself sometimes too. hate myself so much tat i even have the tendency to kill myself.