Friday, September 5, 2008

my feelings..

sad, disappointed, angry, frustrated are some of the few words that can describe how mixed up my feelings are today. do not wanna mention in detail of wat happened that causes me to have all these feelings at one shot. all i can do is go home and cry alone to vent all the anger and unhappiness out.

was waiting for something for the whole day today.. in the end ? waited in vain. *sighs*

celebrated candise's birthday today. went out to china square which initially i didn't even noe this place actually existed (yes i noe i am a direction idiot).. went there to look for Han's.. to buy the birthday cake for candise and end up spent my lunch hour searching for the cake and haven't ate anything since morning. With no other choice, i bought two buns from Han's and rush back to office and hide in the pantry to finish my b'fast+lunch.

Suddenly feel like drinking.. wish to get drunk so tat i can numb my heart for a while.. numb it so that i won't feel tat pain for a while.. did asked fanny in the afternoon to see if she wants to go drink at nite. and she tot i was joking.. but well, nvm.. i shall try my very best to put myself to sleep.

i suddenly felt that i'm like a helpless plant being pulled up by the roots and unable to grow anymore.. i also felt as though there is nobody to catch me again when i fall.. it feels so much like the past. i don't want this feeling.. I really don't want it! what's happening to me ?!!! i'm like going crazy! BAH ! i hate myself ! i hate everything!

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