Friday, December 19, 2008

it's finally.... over.

yeap, i'm back from my trip. frankly speaking, the trip was rather boring.. and difficult customers.. but no worries, i've settled everything there with them. i guess i will talk about my trip in a later post cos now.. i'm feeling rather down..

reached singapore almost mid nite and only able to catch some sleep at abt 2am. get up for work as usual today but coming back wasn't really a wise choice. "Why so?" some of u may ask.. cos i come home and heard something which hurts me rather deeply after tat.

my mum told me something and the more she talk about it, the more agitated she became.. i can fully understand why she got so angry .. cos she took care of my daughter for 9years already.. she dotes on her alot.. protects her and of cos, the last thing she and myself would wan is to see my little girl cry.

My heart starts to ache so terribly when my little girl came crying to me and said, "whether u cane me or beat me to death, i will never wan to step into tat house at jurong ever again!"
what happened? why did my little girl say all these words?? ok, let me tell u wat happened..

that... FUCKING BITCH, melvin's mother, said some words tat is not suppose to be heard by my daughter... she said so loudly in front of her.. make her feel so upset about it..

while i was away, melvin brought little angel back to jurong to play with her little brother justin as she misses her.. so, being polite and always respecting the elderly, she greeted melvin's mom "Granny" but she ignored her totally.. she then went into the room but with the room door still opened. his mom then shouted for melvin and begin to argue with him. she asked, "Why did u bring her back? who is going to look after her?" of cos, melvin felt weird with her words.. so she said again, "i didn't even acknowledge her as my daughter in law, so u tink i will acknowledge her daughter as my grand child? u better look after her urself COS I AM NOT GOING TO LOOK AFTER SOME OTHER MAN'S KID!" Angel heard everything.. she took everything to heart.. she called my mum and cried.. how pain can me and my mum's heart can be ? it's so painful tat no one can imagine.

so.. after hearing this.. i went to my room.. tinking about it for a while.. then i've made up my mind.. to just.. end this relationship. the moment i tink of his fucking mother, my blood boils and my whole body will shake uncontrollably. so, i called him up and told him to let me go.. let me live my own life.. and he lives his own. he broke down.. he really break down into tears.. begging me to stay by his side.. he gave up everything for me.. even turned his back at his parents.. he's lost everything.

i told him.. tat wat i feel for him now isn't as much as i feel for him as before.. it's somehow.. different. "Look Melvin, the problem doesn't lie on u, nor does it lie on any other guys. The problem lies on me so just let me go. We can't be like what we used to be. I don't feel for u anymore.. do u understand? I don't love u already.. I don't wanna carry on like this already."

I made this decision is because i don't wan to have my little girl to get hurt anymore.. i feel tat with melvin around in our lives, there will definitely be possibilities of my little girl getting hurt by them again.

I only hope that he will be strong.. to take very good care of himself.. so tat he will be able to take good care of the little boy.. get over it and live on.

All i can say is.. sorry.


Kev said...

I felt sad when I read your blog. It hurts even more when your daughter has been a victim of a senseless elderly woman who thinks of only herself and not of the family. Well, I guess you have to make that choice - whatever it is. You have worked hard to make your relationship work.

In my own point of view, it's good to make others happy but if by doing so brings suffering to ourselves, that's not wise anymore... especially when it happens too often.

You take care ok?

Jocelyn said...

Kev : thanks for your concern.. but i guess that is the only way out for me.. i feel this is the least i can do as a mother.. to protect my daughter.

AHMIKE said...

Sister. Huggsss* I love you as ji mui k. I felt sad and hurtful of reading it. You're a good mom and ji mui to me. I am sad too , I cried just now

Jocelyn said...

ahmike : hey ji mui, silly u.. why are u crying..? don't worry.. i will be fine.. i will not let my little girl get hurt by them again.

Anonymous said...

ali!! relac la!! wateva decision u make its for e best of everyone!! u take gd care!! find one day we shall meet up ya!!! misses.. c|a|re

Jocelyn said...

Claire : hey ali, kinda surprise tat u will actually leave a comment on my blog. thanks for the concern, and yea, we will definitely find one day and do some catching up. or perhaps come out for a drink or something :) *hugs*

shawnn loo said...

I sorry to read this....
is ok... make ur decision that u will feel happy and comfortable... ^_^