Thursday, December 4, 2008

those were the days...

always remember to cherish whatever you have before u lose them. many people always take things for granted. I do take things for granted at times.. but i really hate the fact that i am being taken for granted for too many times..

i understand that it will be very very bad of me to actually blog everything that hurts him now but i couldn't help it. cos those are really my feelings.. and i do feel very pekcek, frustrated, angry and disappointed with everything!!!

Wanna thank Fanny for accompanying me to have a drink to release some stress last nite even though she has to wake up early for work today. it may sound funny but it's true cos Fanny actually drank more than me and she got very very high ~ high to the extend that she didn't even remember that she KISSED me .. and took pictures with me.. and she even talked to a guy who is sitting beside her.. HAHAHAHAHA!! luckily the guy beside her is isn't local.. i believe he is vietnamese (and she also told me he looks handsome, but too bad he is attached and his gf is there) and so, the guy don't seem to understand wat fanny is saying to him. LOL!!

This is the first time i see her so high and happy. Yea, we did enjoyed ourselves and she talked a lot of rubbish which she really can't even remember.. but alot of people always say .. "Words that comes out from someone drunk is always the truth and words that comes right from the heart.." kekekeke ! I'm not gonna say wat she said to me tat nite cos it's our secret! bleah !

I'm going to tour lead on the 14th Dec le.. This time round i am going to hongkong and macau and zhuhai.. gonna be gone for 5 days.. i wonder how it will be like.. hope everything will be smooth sailing bah.. :)


*ChRisTinE* said...

Quickly find your happy self cos your gloomy face looks very fierce! ;p Whatever it is or how things may turn out, do know that you always have friends who will be there for you no matter what. And my dear friend, you are not alone. Cos you have little baby and Angel by your side too. Jiayou and choose to be happy ok? Yeap, hope you'll enjoy the upcoming trip too!

Anonymous said...

i've never expected myself to pen things here again. especially not in this situation and definitely not a point where my marriage is on the rocks.

i've decided to break my comments into 3 .. 1 is for my wife's fellow loyal readers.. 2nd are to her colleagues and close frens .. the last but not least is for none other then my wife..

Dear Readers,
Please do not blame my wife for doing things so harshly to me during the past few days or the past week i should say. she has nvr forced me to stay at the void deck, neither did she force me to do anything. i wanna apologize to all who felt my wife's pain and all who has helped my wife emotionally whenever i have quarrels with her.

Dear Jocelyn's Friends / Colleagues,
I really want to express my heartfelt thanks to you all. if not for you i believe my wife would've succumbed to my huge ego and stubborness. thanks for accompanying her whenever she needed a listening ear / shoulder to cry on for her husband is such a useless person who cant be there for her when she needed him. Special thanks to fanny for spending time with my wife when she's sad, i would also like to thank you for playing with my daughter whenever u visit my wife's place.

Dear Hunny,
it took me less then a month to fall in love when i first know u. it took me more then 3 years after our marriage to really understand how much u meant to me. during our courtship days we're always the inseperable ones. during our marriage days i say wasnt as beauty as fairytale. infact i do agree with you it became quite a nightmare for u and same for me now when im sitting down thinking of how foolish i was.

I wanna tell everyone here how much you've suffered because of me. u have to undergo 2 very tough and unpleasant clinic and hospital visits. u have suffered the feeling of me chasing her out of the house. u have endured all my stupid behaviors / attitude / ego. u have gone through tough times with my parents. u have been seen by the eyes of my relatives as nt a perfect wife. u suffered the most when we sign our seperation.

I have no intention of repeating myself over and over again as i know you find it irritating. i'm sorry to have contributed to all ur sorrows in the past 4yrs during our coutship. like i mention earlier while sitting at the void deck i had a good thought and self reflection, i thought abt the times when we're inseperable vs the time when we always quarrelled. you've never changed, ur undying love for me has never changed it was me who changed. when sit down and think then it came to me .. who am i w/o u?

i've changed to a point whr i almost take everything for granted. changes in me were so huge that i feel disgusted now when i'm typing this. these few days i'm trying to b my old self. it feels good to be my old self, really i mean it. i use to focus so much on my work tat i neglect my family. now every single min im just tinking abt u .. our little kids and our future. going out to the pub on monday for pool was fun even though u didnt play much but u could've won the eventual winner if u never give me chance. thanks for being so nice to let me win when my frens are around. dun worry they know u're good i've always told them that my wife is good in pool.

my frens say "mel, your wife treat u so nice then ur attitude like tat u need to change. we can see that u love ur wife too but ur actions and attitude and ur ego is like bigger then the world. bring urself down to her and fairytales can happen" which i agree.

the show today was nice. although we didnt end the day with a high and happy note but the show was a good start. its ok i know u're frustrated me too. i came back spending time trying to fix the com but it wont work. i call to check with my colleague he say most prob i leave it for too long tats y spoil le. i'm getting him to fix dad's other Hewlett Packard desktop then at least you can use that first ok?

if you want you can always have my desktop too.. i've decided to have my own blog too. i want my life to be surrounded only by you .. our kids and our future.. its 2.30 am and i've just finish your post havent even do my first virgin post for my blog yet. i will change ur blog for you if you want me to. but it still to be hosted direct from here until lionel transfer my 2 domain over. i'll try to set the layout for you i'm also rusty so need abit of time.

last but not least i wanna thank you for loving me for the past 4 yrs of our courtship and marriage days. i wan to thank you for everything u've done for me, every little thing from cards to kisses and hugs. did u noe that in the past there is one thing that u could do to pull me off from my chair when im playing game? let me tell u .. tat day i was playing cs, u stand behind me and hugged me .. and u whisper to my ears "beebee later u finish playing pei me watch tv ok? i wait for u.." and if u didnt notice i didnt finish my game and i off the com and sit thr with u. i love to be hugged by u from behind.. behind a successful man there is always a woman .. behind a loving relationship there has to be a pair of loving couple.. i'm one half of the loving couple .. u're the other ..

2 hearts .. 2 rings .. 1 love ..

Hunny i love you and i always do and i've always had. sorry for my childishness and immature behavior at times. i noe u're still angry. but i also know that i'm changing for the better and u will see ur lovely beebee bubbling ard u again after 3 yrs .. just that i've grown fatter now =( love u love u love u..

withs lotsa love,
Hubby !!

jerine said...

it's really true that we often take things for granted. sometimes i can't help it too. but i try my best to change. you should always have a great husband. i almost get teary when i read what he wrote. you are the luckiest girl on earth.

Jocelyn said...

Christine : thanks for being there. even though u're not good in words, but i noe u really tried ur best to console me when u see me crying in the pantry. thanks for the hug u gave me, it really did ease the pain in me a bit.

jerine : to a lot of people who read this entry and his comment, u all may feel envious or things like tat or perhaps ended up like u with teary eyes. but there are alot of things tat i've been through which u might not even thought of. but i'm not kidding u, what i've been through is just like a nightmare which will almost make u feel like u dun even wanna be born.