Monday, October 26, 2009

REASONS WHY YOU'RE SEPERATED FROM SOMEONE YOU LOVE

Actually, there are many reasons why u're being kept away from someone you love.. or maybe you're in love but unable to see each other.. and many other possible factors..
I've seen some of them myself.. be it is my friends real life story or me encountering it personally..

Collected some materials and decided to blog about it and perhaps if you do have some experience on this kinda situation... perhaps you would wanna leave a comment in this entry and share them with me.

Let me state some scenarios here..
(*Names in scenarios are changed to protect thier real identity.)

Case 1 : Distance

So, what kinda distance? it might be one staying in Jurong.. and one staying in Pasir Ris.. Both are at each ends of Singapore. But this is still rather acceptable if you all do not mind the travelling time via public transports. Taking a cab will be more expensive but who cares if you are rich? Have you ever thought of those people who are a long distance relationship? There are a few around.. And i must say a long distance relationship is very very tough and hard to maintain. And it will all depend on how mature that person is to maintain it.
I've stumbled onto a blog one day.. *Valerie is in Singapore and her love *Brandon is in the states. Yeap, a chinese and one ang mo. I really envy them when i read her posts about how the distance kept them apart for so long.. how the time difference between the 2 countries that made Valerie stayed up for late nights just to see him online to talk to him.. and how strong they are still hanging on to this relationship. They web cam every night.. This is the only way to see each other. They send each other parcels cos this is the only way they can exchange gifts. Valerie can only bake a cake by herself and lit candles to celebrate Brandon's birthday in front of the web cam. She even calculated the number of days to send the parcel to Brandon so that he can recieve it on his birthday itself to give him a surprise. Yes, it is a very sweet moment of the 2 of them and deep down my heart.. i really feel happy for them.. for both of them are still standing strong despite the time difference and distance between them.

So if you're still complaining Jurong and Pasir Ris are very far, think about this. You really should not complain in future already.

Case 2 : Financially

Well, speaking of which.. this is sometimes a pain when u have not enough money to go out for a date with your partner. And this happens mostly among students..
I've got friends complaining to me all the time .. "Feel like going out for a movie.. But sian lah! No money~" or things like that. Do you get them too? Sad but true, i'm experiencing this myself now too. Hahaha!

Case 3 : Family

This is one case scenario which i personally is very very sensitive about. Cos i've faced them for a few times already.
So take it for example.. Hmm.. Your relationship with your love one just started.. after a while.. both of you decided that maybe it's time that you introduce yourself to the family members already. So what happens when the parents doesn't have any good impression about you? I believe the most common happened problem would be like .. feeling pressured on how to make them like you.. how to make them accept you.. how to make them give both of you thier blessings and stuffs like that.
Let me share with you a similar "Family" situation that happened at my own home. I do not know if you've read one of my post on How I Hate My Brother's GF ?? Yeah, both my mum and myself didn't like the girl that my brother brought home. I really don't know what's up with my brother to fall for a girl like her.. and i really do not know what's up in the girl's mind!! She really do not have any basic manners as to greet people at home... or at least a nod on the head and a smile on the face? The more i see her the more i dislike her.. So whenever my brother brought her home, my mum will call me and tell me to take my own dinner outside as she decided not to cook due to the hateful girl is at our house.. my mum commented, "Jocelyn, you take ur meal outside. Ur brother brought tat stupid girl home. I don't want to cook. Waste my time cooking and let her eat my food." Hahahahaha !! My mum's really cute isn't it?

THANK GOD my brother broke off with her already after a few months. If not i really can't imagine what will happen if she really becomes my sister in law.

So does anyone of you have a common hater at home that you wanna share? Haha!!

Case 4 : Age Gap

Ok! AGE! many people always say that age isn't a problem which i personally agree. I believe 70% of this society will always agree to couples to be made up of an older guy and a younger lady. Meaning the guy is always a few years senior than the lady.. and the remaining 30% of the society will accept a couple being made up of a elder lady and a younger man. I have quite a number of female friends having a younger boyfriend.. but it's only a few years gap ranging from 1-5 years. And I'm having a younger boyfriend myself. So yeah.. :)

So... age gap.. age gap.. Hmmm.... many of them are really base on true love.. but a few couples that i've come across at my previous work place are mostly matchmaked or old man marrying a foreign young wife. Base on what i experience or should i say come across in real life.. I've witness couples with major age gaps like the man being 10-20years older than the lady... or the lady being at least 10years older than her boyfriend.. these people will always have to bear with what outsiders say about them. What do i mean by that? Well.. Let me tell u a real case that happened back at work..

A man and a lady walked in to check for the prices to go to Bangkok. So my first impression of them was, "Oh.. must be father and daughter buying a package to bring the whole family to go for a holiday." But then, no. they only bought a package for TWO. yeap, just the two of them.. so my thought was, "hmm.. perhaps the mum is busy working so the father brought the daughter for a holiday." .. i realise my thought was not right when i asked for both thier names so that i can reserve the flight tickets and do the hotel bookings for them, cos it turned out to be they are having different surnames and the girl said, "I want to request for QUEEN SIZE BED! Must confirm that for me!" So my expression changed a bit and replied, "I can help you do a request, but all request are subject to availability base on first come first serve basis. But u can do a request again when u reach the hotel." WAH! she raised her voice and said, "I DON'T CARE!! How u expect the both of us to go there and not able to sleep together?!!" -______-
Asked for both of thier contact numbers so that i will contact them once thier tickets are ready for collection and all the more i believe they are a couple (instead of the initial thought of them being father and daughter) cos they are hold couple numbers. Trust me not, i almost fainted when i see both thier passports' date of birth.. WHY?? cos the girl is 2 years younger than me.. (believe it or not, she looks older than me.) and the guy is older than my mum. GOSH!!!

Ok, back to topic. I was saying a couple with major age gaps will have to bear with how outsiders look at them. And the above mentioned is one of the real life scenario which i did mention how i feel about them. And i believe such relationships will work out better if they are mentally prepared for all the unnecessary stares and critics by other people. And lastly, will the parents of the younger one be able to accept the fact that the child is seeing a partner that is so much older than thier child?? Some even lost a lot of friends cos the friends are not able to accept them being together due to the age gap. oh well, like the saying always go.. "Shit happens"

So if anyone of you reading is in this situation, care to share with me how you handle your relationship and answer your parents or towards your friends?

Case 5 : Divorced and with a child

This one really speaks a lot about me. Cos i am one. I'm divorced and i'm with kids. I always will feel inferior.. And i will always look at the negative side of things. I will always worried that the parents will not accept me for who i am or accept my kids. Sometimes, it's really very tough to let the parents of your partner to accept the fact that you had a kid. You will need to crack your head open to think of the best time to break the news to them. You will even hear nasty comments like "Buy one free one" kinda thing. Worst case scenarios will be the one with a kid, still do not dare to tell the man she love that she has a kid cos he might not be able to accept it and then let go of his hand and fade away silently by herself.
Even though some parents verbally say that they don't mind your kids and are willing to treat them like thier own grand children.. U've yet to meet some just like my previous in laws. Verbally they said they do not mind at all.. But u can see thier true colors once you bore them a grand child of thier own. U can tell which child they will treat better and which will not. It is cos of this that i left that ugly family and bring my daughter away with me. Thier nasty words towards my poor little girl are still deeply imprinted in my mind. you will know and understand what sorta words they used on my daughter if you read my previous post HERE.

Do you have a story to share with me on how you cope with a kid and face the parents of you partner??

Case 6 : Being A Third Party

To put it bluntly.. Being a Mistress or vice versa. a guy or a girl two timed openly but kept the "real" gf or bf in the dark.
a real case scenario here.. *Andy knew *Janice was attached.. But both of them had likings for each other.. So they grew to love each other even more after they got into an "underground" relationship. Andy has to hide in the dark and not able to reveal his status to light not say openly to his own friends. Janice then slowly realise that being together with her real boyfriend of 3 years starts to be like a responsibilty and habit to her instead of love. This is a case which seperates Andy and Janice away from being together.. But now.. i felt happy for them cos Janice finally made a clear decision towards her boyfriend that they should end this as she is in love with another.. that is Andy. The boyfriend finally let go of her.. and wish them happiness now.

Who never two timed before? Who been through such situations before? How did it ended this way? Did it turn out well and bloom in the end? Tell me about it :)


7 comments:

Anonymous said...

my boy's in China.. and i'm here.. and we can only meet in HK once a year. :(

Jocelyn said...

Anonymous : awww... *hugs* so i bet u both must have treasure every moment together rite?

Jerine said...

I don't know why I almost cried when i read your post. Especially the long distance one. you miss out one point - personality differences.

I used to be in relationship with a Singaporean. He had this cocky attitude that I can't stand. He said that my mom is stupid to give up her Singaporean citizenship to be a Malaysian because Malaysians are trash. He came to Malaysia and throw rubbish by the road. I was just politely telling him that he might get caught and then he said the whole Malaysia is a rubbish dump anyway. Although I loved him and I know he loved me, but I can't take his attitude. I feel like as if he's looking down on me all the time just because I'm Malaysia.

kenwooi said...

oh hey.. nice writeup..
i have friends with older gf..
i guess guys prefer mature gfs.. =)

kenwooi.com

Jocelyn said...

Jerine : awww... *hugs* yea, come to think of it, i really miss out that one. perhaps i've nv come across this one personally yet. cos the above mentioned are mostly what i've seen or experienced personally. But anyway, don't cry ok? and i really got a gut feeling that you will find ur mr right whoe treats you real well in future! All the best to u. :)

Kenwooi : heehee! thanks for the comment. and yea, i have about 70% of guy friends prefers ladies older than them.. hmmm... any reason why? care to enlighten me? haha!

BK said...

Many reasons why one is separated from a loved one but one strong reason why one is together - Love. Very well thought out post.

Jocelyn said...

BK : yea, indeed.. LOVE is a pretty amazing thing isn't it? Hehe. Thanks for the visit to my site and comment :)